Best Rendition of a Much Lived Life

We had a truly AWESOME Thanksgiving this year, with family driving in from Cincinnati, DC and Vermont. You know, I really have to admit that having a baby is like a magnet when it comes to getting your family to visit you, and I will happily take advantage of that whenever I can.


Thanksgiving is, hands down, my favorite holiday. First of all, it is a wonderful excuse to bring all your friends and family around my favorite place: the table. Second, it involves one of my favorite past times- planning and cooking a massive meal. Third, Thanksgiving is about one of my favorite feelings: gratitude. And I have so, so much to be grateful for this year: An amazing husband who continues to astound me with his ability to inject love, levity and passion into every inch of our lives. A husband who went out and killed us a wild turkey for this year's feast! A husband who is not only an amazing partner but an amazing father to our Squirrel Girl. We are so lucky to be in a place in our lives that allows us the flexibility to take care of June Apple at home, without having to have her in daycare. We have been blessed with incredible friends and family who graciously help us take care of June when we are both at work and school. I have a group of 8(!) girlfriends who rotate taking care of June Bug on Thursday nights when Amos has a gig and I am in class until 10pm. To say I am thankful for these women is an understatement. I am so grateful to be close to our families, as their love, support and endless supply of baby booties (Mom) overwhelms me. Speaking of support, the flexibility, baby-love, and encouragement that I have felt from the counseling psych department and my supervisor and co-workers in the teaching and learning department at U of L, allows me to really have my cake and eat it, too.


And then there's June Apple. Sometimes I look at her and the immensity of my gratitude literally takes my breath away. How did I get so lucky? I never, ever, take for granted what a gift she is in our lives, as I am painfully aware that her's is a gift not everyone in my life has been able to receive. My heart aches with the weight of my love for her and I am so grateful that she is happy, healthy, and much, much loved. Oh, and she's pretty cute, too.


Wow, re-reading this post makes it seem like an Oscar acceptance speech. I forgot to thank the Academy. An Oscar for Best Rendition of a Much Lived Life.


So here are some pictorial highlights from the day:

 All in all, an excellent day spent with excellent people eating excellent food!

10 months!

Holy smokes, what a month its been! Between school, work, an internship two days a week an hours drive away, out of town visitors and final papers, things have been a little hectic. So much so, its taken me nearly two weeks to post pictures of Ms. June Apple at ten months. Here she is in all her ten month glory!

                                                        June practices for her Derby win

                                                                      New bath tub fun!

                                                         Deep conversations with Grandpa.

                              Trying to decide whether she is going to play drums or the bass....

                                                           Isn't she a stinker?!

This month she has mastered the art of standing up and jumping in her crib. This also means when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she immediately stands up and screams at the top of her lungs, making it all the more difficult for her to fall back asleep. I've heard that when babies are trying a new skill (like standing) they often wake up to try it out....and then can't fall back to sleep as well. Ugh. She had been sleeping gloriously from 8 or 9 until 5 in the morning. And then she would sing out to me, "Mother dearest! I would love to enjoy some nursing now." And then I would bring her into bed with us and nurse her into sleeping blissfulness until we both arose with smiles at 8am. And now it goes something like this:
12 am: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!Nurse, nurse, nurse, BITE MOMMY!!!!!! 3am:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!Nurse, nurse, nurse, BITE BITE BITE MOMMY!!!!!!
5am: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!Nurse, nurse, nurse, BITE MOMMY!!!!! Oh! Is it time to play now?! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!Don't put me back in the crib!!!!!!!! No! I don't want to lie quietly with you!!!!!!!
7 am: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!Time to get up!!!!!!
So, any suggestions? I've tried just letting her cry, and sometimes she will fall back to sleep quickly, but other times, I just give in and go to her because I know I will be asleep again sooner than if I just lie there and listen to her yelling. Ugh. I take solace in the fact that I don't know any older kids who still wake up and call out to their parents in the night....oh, wait....I DO know kids that do that. Shit. Now what?

Tonight

Tonight, my dear June Apple, I put you in your crib, after you sang your way through peas and carrots, after you squealed with delight at the shower on your face, after we read Little Bear Goes to the Moon, and after you giggled and nuzzled into my breast. I put you in your crib, said goodnight and crept away, and you sweetly talked yourself to sleep. No tears. No crying out. Babble and sleep. You rock.

Wearing June

Excuse me while I blow bubbles on top of my soapbox...


So, there are some things that I've done as a parent that I take pretty seriously. Like most parents, I try to make the best informed decisions I can, while simultaneously trying to be flexible and laid back, allowing my intuition guide me. As a graduate student, I having too much information at my fingertips and I have worked very hard to not go crazy searching evidence-based practices for parenting, when I know better. Being a good mama is about being selective and blocking out the noise (and the annoying people) that don't resonate with you.  I feel (mostly) confident listening to my heart in most matters because I have worked hard to seek out advice and answers from people and sources that I trust.


When June was born she was so tiny- 4 pounds, 12 ounces, see the pic for a reminder of her little sweetness. 



I never thought of her as fragile. I knew her spirit from the start. She had already fought so hard to survive and she and I and her Papa would do what we knew was right for our family. I strive not be one of those parents who shoves their values in other people's faces. I try to make choices for our family that are the best for us, and I do no presume to know whether that same thing would be best for someone else's family.  Babies who are born low birth weight, like June Apple, are at risk for many physical and cognitive delays. It was very important to me that I do whatever I could to help her grow and be as strong as she could. After doing extensive research (it helped that I was taking a human growth and development course the semester she was born) I found some solid steps I could take to help insure that she thrive. These steps include breastfeeding, babywearing, skin to skin contact, baby sign language, exposing her to music, and reading to her.


My soapbox on the wonders of breastfeeding will be saved for another day, so today I will talk about the wonders of baby wearing.


                    

Now you may be asking yourself, "Why Katy, are you preaching about babywearing today, of all days?" Well, last week I was having lunch with my new co-workers at the community mental health clinic I am an intern at. I started talking about National Babywearing Week and the flashmob I was planning on taking a part of that Saturday. (Thats right, there is a week to celebrate carrying your baby, and yes, I was in a flashmob. Jealous?) Anyhoo, one of the therapists was like, "Babywearing?!" I explained to her quickly  (because who want to hear my 45 minute spiel? Oh, wait, isn't that what your reading now? Well, I guess your could stop reading if you lose interest........Still with me?) that babywearing meant carrying your baby in a sling or carrier. I mentioned that there is a lot of research out there that supports that wearing your baby improves cognitive functioning. I threw in the word "research," because I thought, you know, this lady has her master's degree in counseling. Apparently that meant nothing to her. Instead she looked at me like I just said, "I love to surround my baby in crystals and smudge her in sage while I read her palm and read to her from The Mists of Avalon."

For the first couple months of her life I wore her tucked into a Moby wrap or sling. Research supports that wearing babies who are low birth weight or born early help continue a baby's time in the womb, by simulating the environment with a cozy wrap.  Babies who are worn spend less time crying and more time in a quiet, alert state, which allows them time to pay attention to what is going on, thus boosting brain power. Also, it helps promote secure attachment. I mean come on! Hello! You are literally attached to each other, so how could that not promote attachment? 

I have four different baby wearing options at my disposal- a Moby wrap, an Ergo Baby carrier (as seen below) and two slings. The Moby has proven to be the most versatile, as June can be worn in many different ways. Currently, she loves to face out, so she can kick her legs and allow everyone to admire her cuteness. The Ergo is great because I can easily take it on and off, making it a good choice when we are running errands and are in and out of the car several times. Amos also wears the Ergo, as it is the most "manly." The slings are good too, but only when I have a sleepy June Apple, as its very conducive for napping.

                   
Sometimes I combine music and babywearing, for a double whammy. 

Clearly baby wearing made June Apple a genius who can hold drum sticks at 3 days old. And just to prove that baby wearing does not make me a perfect mother, this picture was taken in a bar. When she was three days old. That goes to show that a parent's good decisions are usually balanced by plenty of questionable ones. Seriously though, so far, June has met all of her milestones and is as smart as a whip (Are whips smart? Okay, amend that- Smart as a Nobel Peace Prize winner when they were a baby) and I definitely attribute this, in part, to my choice to wear her so often.

So I could go on and on, and in fact, if you are thirsting for more academic flavored candy, I will email you the research paper I wrote on improving cognitive outcomes for low birthweight babies. The Dr. Sears Baby Book is also a good resource for finding out more about the benefits of baby wearing and attachment parenting. 


The take away from it all is this: I LOVE to have June close. I know doing so has contributed to her growth and to our relationship. As a mama, it is my number one goal to raise her to be a smart, independent woman who loves her mama and papa dearly, but doesn't move back in when she's 35 with her collection of embroidery floss and toy poodles, sleeping on our couch and eating all our food. I know that my days of carrying her so close to my heart are numbered, so I cherish them so very dearly. Because soon she'll be running and skipping ahead while I meander behind and watch my girl go, go, go.