The Land of Nod...... or MaybeNod Tonight

Wow, thank goodness its Halloween this weekend, so that when people comment me on my scary, haggard appearance, I can just say, "Oh you mean, this face? Oh, I just look like this for the holiday. Ya, know...BOO!" When in truth its because I have slept like crap all week, which has really added to my Zombie street cred. I feel like sleeplessness during pregnancy is some cruel, cruel joke. I am supposed to be storing up sleep now, because, as 'they' say, once the baby comes I'm not going to sleep again for 18+ years. So last week I was blaming the cat. This week, its the cat, and the dog, and the trains, and the husband, oh and a tiny little one named Dance Diva Awesome, not to mention just waking up, lying there and just, being awake. Not much on my mind. Just lying there. Which means when its 9:30pm the next night and I am sitting in class trying to figure out how to score a very complicated intellectual assessment with very little intellectual power left in me, or I am sitting in class trying to figure out how I will possible face the three hour midterm in multivariate statistics that sits in front of me, I just close my eyes and think, "Hey, this is not what I bargained for." I thought all this sleep deprivation was supposed to come AFTER the baby arrives, not BEFORE. But that's just it, isn't it? Looks like she already has arrived.

When Amos and I were first talking about having a baby, I was telling him that its not like we would have a baby right away, we'd have 40 weeks of waiting around for the baby, 40 more weeks of baby-less, carefree lifestyle. And Amos looked at me and said, "Katy, as soon as you get pregnant, we will HAVE a baby." And now I get it. He was right. I admit it. She's already here in so many ways. But at the same time, she's not here, and I want her to be. But, then again, I don't. I cherish my baby-free life, perhaps even more now that its slipping away. Which is WHY, I'd like to sleep as much as I can, while I can!

The other night Amos said to me, "I wish this pregnancy was like our engagement and wedding." We got engaged and BAM! three months later, we were married. It was all so fast. We went from unmarried and untied to married with many ties. But I love those ties. I wouldn't change those ties for anything. I'm guessing transitioning into parenting will be the same way. But in the meantime, how about a decent night's sleep?

Here's a pic of me, 25 weeks, in one of my many Halloween masks...



Dear Little Bear,

I want you to know that I will gladly trade all the full nights of sleep just to hang out with you.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama