Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior aka Mommy Dearest

The headline of my weekly email from babycenter.com must have had me in mind this week when it read, "Is it safe to binge on Halloween candy?" Apparently, it is safe! Whew! Okay, so there is a caveat, that the binging be done "within reason." I'm sorry, but 'Halloween candy' and 'reason' do not co-exist. Of course, I also think the article was referring to the safety of binging on candy on Halloween night, not every night afterward as well. But I better get back on the wagon soon, because my glucose test is early next week, and I would hate to find that my candy gluttony led to a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Ouch. But some candy is good for you. Reese Cups=protein. Swedish Fish= Omega 3's. Okay, tomorrow I will eat kale chips, but tonight I feast on Airheads and Sour Patch Kids!!!!

We had our second annual Dia De Los Meurtos Party this past Saturday. On Friday, we thought maybe ten people would show, but I think we ended up with over fifty! Sheesh. It was fun, although I struggled with what my costume would be. Let's face it, its tough to come up with a good costume when you're pregnant. They don't make maternity versions of all those sexy costumes out there. No skanky pregnant nurse costume for me. Shame. I was going to be a nun- nothing like a pregnant nun to shake up the Catholics at the party. But, I was swamped all day Saturday and didn't have time to make a nun's habit. Thankfully, the tiny Mexican grocery down the street from my house saved the day and I scored an awesome mask for only 10 bucks, thus producing The Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior!! Amos dressed up as my manager, Hector the Horrible.



I am considering asking our midwife to wear the mask when she delivers Awesome. That way, when she sees my face, she will be so relieved to be held by someone so safe and nonthreatening, she'll never stray far and never leave my side. We also decided to dress up Rosco, so that he could greet all the trick-or-treaters in style. Doesn't he look adorable?!



If you can't humiliate your pets and children by dressing them up in silly costumes, what good are they?!

Juliette Binoche and I are still on bad terms.



Last night she had the AUDACITY to wake me up FOUR TIMES to go in and out! The last time she started to scratch on the sheet by my head, I grabbed my slipper and in an utter fit of rage slapped her with it. I then lay in bed, near tears, thinking, "Oh my God, I'm a terrible mother already." I just hit someone I love without even flinching. I might even go so far as to call it instinctual. In a state of sleep deprivation and rage, I lashed out and hit her. What will keep me from doing the same to poor little defenseless Awesome?! I'm going to have to get one of those Don't Shake The Baby bumper stickers and post it over her crib, just to protect her from my crazed fits of anger. I need an intervention now, before its too late and I am out of control. I went out today and bought a spray bottle, which in the past has worked to curb those middle of the night face-offs between Juliette and I. And I figure, even if it turns into a habit, spraying Awesome in the face with water in the middle of the night is not nearly as bad as slapping her across the room with my shoe.

Here is my week 26 picture. I think I look a little bigger, but its probably just candy bloat.



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I voted today. I hope when you're old enough to vote you cherish how important and vital it is to be a part of the political process. Elections seem to get crazier and crazier every year, and I pray that by the time you are our age, sanity has been somewhat restored. Even with her flaws, America is such a wonderful country for so many reasons, and we enjoy so many wonderful freedoms that are a mere glimmer in other parts of the world. I hope that you are able to always have access to affordable health care, excellent education, safe streets, freedom to choose who you marry and freedom to make choices for your own body.

Papa and I will always love you, no matter who you are, who you choose to be, no matter what.

Love,

Mama