I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Before I launch into this week's tirade, here is week 27's pic, alongside a picture of a gorgeous eggplant that apparently gives a rough estimate of her size the past few weeks. According to thebump.com, "Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes." Sounds like she's already quite the beauty!



While I normally try and inject humor and lightheartedness into these posts, this week I am taking a slightly more serious turn. This past weekend, I found myself at a table having a particularly disturbing conversation with two friends. Now, while these friends will remain nameless, I will say that they both happen to be mothers of two boys a piece. They also happen to be two friends whom I generally regard as strong-willed, intelligent, independently-minded women- you know the type of people I like to generally surround myself with. You can imagine my dismay when the conversation turned to mothering girls and they both started to share their opinions about why they are thankful that they don't have to do it.

One friend said, "The existence God was finally affirmed when I was blessed with two boys and no girls." The other friend chimed in, "Oh yeah, girls are PURE EVIL." The first friend continued, "Girls are just too smart." WHAT?!?! I just sat there in silence. WHAT?!?! Okay,so there I was sat, dumbfounded, beautiful baby girl in utero, and they did not seem to be considering how these statements may settle with me (let alone the virgin ears of my unborn). Are they serious? Perhaps they were being a little tongue in cheek, but still. I do believe they honestly feel grateful not to have to tackle the challenge of raising a girl. Whats with the women-hatin'? Let my rant now commence:

Now, I could begin by identifying myself as a feminist who feels it is my duty to defend the honor of the female gender, but in truth, had these women been two mothers of girls and they were saying similar statements about boys, I would have been equally disturbed. But I must focus specifically on the vitriolic proclamations of my female companions. Let me begin by addressing the first statement, about God sparing my friend from raising girls. Now I believe my friend's intention was a suggestion that raising girls is a more difficult and complicated task and that boys are simple creatures. (An unfair statement about both genders). To be honest, I have yet to raise a girl or a boy, so my expertise is not well formed. However, I have had the great pleasure of spending many, many hours with boys and girls of all ages, and I have found all of them, regardless of their gender, to be fascinating, challenging, complicating and, at times, wonderfully simple. Each child I have met have been a striking individual, and while I have noted and believe in the existence of the common occurrences of gender differences, none of these differences have struck me as something to be feared. Now onto the statement about girls being "PURE EVIL." It pisses me off that I even typed this phrase twice, let alone had to endure hearing it. I can't even begin to imagine why and where she would come up with this conclusion, nor do I appreciate the suggestion that my lovely daughter is anything less that wonderful. My daughter will be wonderful because of the girl she will be and the woman she will become. Period. And then the utterly ridiculous statement that girls are "too smart." Don't even get me started. What is this, the 1950's?! My friend was suggesting, or at least I believe she was, that girls use their intelligence to be manipulative and crafty. Somehow I doubt people describe men' and boys use of their intelligence in this way.

Now, perhaps part of my reaction is fueled by my mother bear instinct, but that's only part of it. Now to be fair, I myself have gotten sucked in to trash talking other women, but when I check myself and really address the root of what fuels what I'm saying, it usually involves me feeling threatened or jealous of them. And you know where that gets me? No where. No woman is ever served or made greater by making other women around her seem small. As a woman it is my duty to celebrate and respect other women, as well as expect greatness. Because if we don't do this for one another, who will?

I am looking forward greatly to the challenge of raising an amazing girl who will become an outstanding woman. I hope that she is stubborn and outspoken, feisty and whip-smart. I hope that she has moments where she finds her foot stuck firmly in her mouth. I also hope she finds all the ways in the world to use all of her talents, especially her intelligence, to get what she needs in this world. More than anything I hope that she will teach me, as she already has, how to be a better mother, woman and human being.

And to my friends out there who are glad they didn't have girls, I hope in the very least you are raising your sons to have the utmost respect and honor for the power and grace of our daughters.



Dear Little Bear,

One of my greatest hopes for you is that you are always aware of how amazing you are. Women are wonderful, powerful, gorgeous creatures, and you will find yourself surrounded by many great versions of them. Your grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts and friends are already testimonies to that fact.

Never except anything less than respect for who you are and who you are becoming. Demand it and fight for it. In turn, treat others in kind.

A very wise woman, named Marianne Williamson, once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Papa and I love you very much.

Shine on, baby girl.

Love,

Mama