Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas Time is Here!



Well its been quite a festive time in the Hopkins Household this past week! As per doctor's orders, we decided to stay in Louisville for Christmas instead of driving up to Cincinnati, as we had originally planned. Mom came down on the 23rd and we, along with the help of some strapping carnivorous fellows, fixed a Christmas Eve feast that included wild turkey (slain by Amos) cooked by our friend Joe in a dutch oven over the fire pit, venison back strap (courtesy of Chuck) grilled over the fire, artichoke and green bean casserole (Amos' mom's recipe), mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh baked bread from Blue Dog Bakery, and a gorgeous (if I may say so myself) mixed berry pavlova that I made that was, well, out of this universe. The meal was AHHHHHH-ma-ZING!!!

Christmas morning, Mom made cinnamon rolls (as per Graves Family tradition) and Dad arrived just in time to indulge in their gooey goodness, as we opened presents and drank hot chocolate. Amos got me a really great camera that shoots still photos and HD video that I can keep in my bag to take pictures of Ms. Awesome on the fly. Right now we have a Nikon manual/digital camera that takes great photos but is kind of huge to always be lugging around, so this new camera will be perfect! Among the copious piles of presents we had under our tree this year, I also got some really nice PJs from Mom to wear in the hospital and some comfy shearling lined Crocs from Dad to pad around the house in. Excellent loot! Amos also got me some flannel pjs to wear after Awesome arrives. I tried them on to see if they fit yet. What do you think?



Dad brought a yummy spiral cut ham down with him and we had another amazing day of delicious food with leftovers from the night before, more fresh Blue Dog bread, and ham.

Oh, did I mention we went sledding? And by "we" I mean, Amos and Mom went sledding (with Rosco and Jake chasing them down the hill), while Dad and I watched from the top of the hill in Cherokee Park. So much fun! I can't wait until next year, when Ms. Awesome is not in utero and I can take a ride! I hope sledding on Christmas (as long as there's snow) becomes a tradition.


Mom takes a turn



Amos headed down with Rosco close behind.

Mom headed back to Cincy on Sunday afternoon and Dad stayed another night and we watched old movies and ate fondue (my favorite!) It was quite a delicious weekend!

Amos' mom, Bet, came on Monday evening and we went out for Indian food. I've heard that babies are predisposed to enjoy foods that they were exposed to during their mother's pregnancy, so I like to eat lots of spicy, garlicky, curried yumminess, so Awesome will like all the good stuff. Hope it works!

Today, we had a busy day. We had another appointment with one of our midwives, Beth, along with another ultrasound to make sure that the placenta isn't doing anymore acting up and that Awesome is still very cute. The good news is, the placenta seems to be behaving itself, and Awesome is still very, very cute (although there are some face shots of her that are kind of scary, in a skeletal sort of way.) Bet got to go with us, so she got see Awesome moving and shaking around, too! Based on the ultrasound, Awesome seems to be a bit tiny (in the 10th percentile) for her age, so I have orders to fatten her up in the coming weeks by eating higher caloric foods, especially protein, which will help her build muscle. Amos asked if exercise would help and Beth said, not really as this would burn calories. So I guess that means that the next few weeks will be filled with me sitting around and eating steak. Its a rough life. I am scheduled for another ultrasound in two more weeks to make sure she continues getting bigger. In the past two weeks she has gained about 7 ounces (according to the ultrasounds, which aren't necessarily exact), so she is growing, she just needs some more meat on her bones! Beth didn't seem too concerned, its just something to monitor over the coming weeks. Its kind of crazy, because when we got our first ultrasound at 20 weeks, we thought it would be the only chance we would get to have an Awesome preview, but since then we've had three more, with one again into weeks! Its nice to be able to check in with her and say, Hi!

After we left the midwife's office, Bet took us diaper back pack shopping. Knowing that there was a slim chance Amos would ever be caught dead lugging around a diaper bag, we decided to find a neutral, inconspicuous day pack that will actually hold more stuff than a regular diaper bag and will leave our hands free, as well. Amos fell in love with a camo print day back, but I had to put my foot down and insist on something that would suit both of us a little better than camouflage. We settled on a black North Face pack with lots of pockets, that I think will work great. While shopping we considered things like, 'Will this bag show puke stains easily?' and 'Is there a compartment we can dedicate to poop covered clothing?' I think we made a good choice.

So, all in all its been a fun, eventful, yet laid back week, spent surrounded by family and good friends. Tomorrow, I am headed to Cincinnati for a day for a baby shower thrown by one of my best friends, Britt and her mom, Chris. I am so excited, as a lot of my friends from high school whom I haven't seen in a long time are going to be there. Should be a lot fun, I just have to decide what to wear!


Week 34


Happy Holidays! Love, Katy, Amos, Rosco, Juliette Binoche and Awesome.


Dear Little Bear,

This time next year, you will have enjoyed your first visit from Santa! He proved this year that he does know where our house is on Pope Street and even sent one of his elves, Amrinder, to make sure that Papa and I were being good. You will get to meet Amrinder next year. He said he would be back.

Next year, you'll also get to go sledding (or at least watch us go sledding), which will be fun. I know you will love sledding when you get bigger. Its especially fun, because Rosco likes to race down the hill with you.

Do you like steak and milk shakes? I certainly hope so, because that's what we are going to be eating in the next couple weeks. Its time to pudge you up so you can be a roly poly just like Papa and I were when we were babies. Papa, your grandma, Bet, and I all got to see you today. Several times you were looking straight at us. Its too bad that we can see you, but you can't see us. Soon enough! 2011 is days away, which means that you will soon be here! We are so excited.

Merry Christmas, Little Bear.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Blessings


Week 33

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings - Irving Berlin

With Christmas in our midst and the past couple week's events still settling in, I have been reflecting more and more on life and its blessings. I've been thinking, even before the scare last week of what it truly means to be a parent and all the uncertainties that are carried with such an immensely wonderful honor. Parenting, like marriage, or rather like any great love you have in your life, opens your heart and soul to its greatest vulnerability. By allowing our hearts to be open we inevitably accept the very real vulnerability of life's preciousness and fragility. Some things in life, including the lives of those we love, are outside the realm of our power. Nothing can keep them perfectly and completely safe. Even if you do everything right and take the greatest precautions, there are always risks and unexpected turns. And that is scary. But all you can do is live your life to its fullest and greatest potential and love to the greatest extent of your being.



Dear Little Bear,

You have been such a blessing from the moment I knew you were with me. Life will be filled with many unexpected turns and I have no way of predicting all the many adventures we will have together and all the journeys you will take on your own.
Papa and I promise to make you feel safe and cherished, always. We promise to instill in you a love and thirst of the unknown and to be fearless in the face of possibility. We also promise to raise you to love openly and to the greatest extent of your being.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Whoa, That Was Close

Well, its been crazy week, to say the very, very least. The week started out gravy, with classes and finals winding down, a Christmas party on Dec. 11 with school friends, going shopping for a Christmas tree, and baking all day Sunday for a cookie exchange with the other GA's in my office.

Monday, Dec. 13th, I went into work/school and took my very much dreaded multivariate statistics exam. It was stressful and yucky, but after it was over I was comforted by the fact that I was officially finished with stats requirements for the rest of my academic career. After the exam, I drove to Angela's house for book club (this month's selection: Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn) and circus themed food (deep fried oreos!!!). When I first got to Angela's, I was still detoxing from the stress of the exam and lay on her living room floor, relaxing and letting the semester melt away. My friend Kim was there and gave me two very sweet, yet very tiny little baby hats she had knit for Awesome, and we laughed about how small they were (they barely covered my fist).

***Disclaimer- this gets messy*****
I got home around 10:30 or so and felt like Awesome was really pushing up against my ribs while I was sitting up, so I decided to stretch out on the couch to see if that gave her more room. Soon after lying down, my lower back and stomach started REALLY hurting, and I thought I may have eaten something circus-themed that didn't sit well with me. The thought that I might be having contractions briefly went through my mind, but the pain didn't come and go, it just stayed there, so I wasn't really 'contracting.' I decided I might feel better if I just went to bed. After laying down for a minute, I got back up because I needed to throw up, which only further confirmed my belief that I had a stomach bug or something. After that, I was able to fall asleep pretty quickly.

At 2:45 am, I woke up and thought that I was about to pee my pants. As soon as I stood up, I felt a gush and rushed to the bathroom, where I quickly discovered I was bleeding. I yelled for Amos and we were out the door, and ten terrifying minutes later, I was in the ER of Clark Memorial Hospital.

As soon as I got there, I was sent to Labor and Delivery, where they were quickly able to find Ms. Awesome's heartbeat and know that she was happy as a little clam and none the wiser to the chaos that was going on around her. I, however, was experiencing a placental abruption, where the placenta starts to pull away from the uterine lining and causes bleeding. The nurses and doctors were unable to tell how serious it was and there was a possibility that I was going to have to undergo an emergency c-section. The good news was Awesome was doing just fine, and my water hadn't broken. I was, however, having pretty regular contractions (1-2 minutes apart) and continued to bleed. An ultrasound was unable to determine the location or severity of the abruption, but again confirmed that Awesome was doing wonderfully, considering.

Although I was stable, by 11 am Tuesday, I was still bleeding a bit, so the doctor decided to have me transferred to Norton's Hospital in Louisville (Clark is just over the bridge in Indiana), so that, if I did end up having to deliver, I would be at a hospital that had a neonatal intensive care unit. At almost 33 weeks, were Awesome to be born, she would be fine, but small, and would probably need some help breathing and eating the first week or so. Maybe those hats that Kim knit would be coming in handy sooner than we thought!

By the time I got to Norton's, (Tuesday afternoon) my bleeding had tapered off, as had my contractions (which they think were just my body's reaction to trying to stop the bleeding). After a very uncomfortable day and night hooked up to an IV and several fetal monitors in Norton's Labor and Delivery ward, I was able to 'graduate' Wednesday, to the Antenatal unit for monitoring.They gave me a couple shots of steroids that would help mature her lungs, in case she did end up coming early, although it was looking less and less likely that she would be making an appearance. They continued to monitor both Awesome and I, and by Wednesday morning my bleeding and contractions had completely stopped. The doctors wanted to continue to observe me, in case anything changed, and luckily, nothing did. They talked about wanting to keep me for observation until I was 34 weeks (Dec 23rd), in case I needed to deliver there. At 34 weeks, I will be far enough along to deliver at Clark (which is my hospital and where my midwife is based out of). In the end, thankfully, they decided I could go home Friday morning, as long as I took it easy and came back if there were any changes. My mom drove down Thursday night and was able to help Amos and I through the weekend. And so, I've been home for a couple days now, and am feeling good, and Awesome is still kicking around, and hopefully, all is well.

Everything is still, somewhat up in the air, and there are a lot of unanswered questions, as to why this all happened. All of the risk factors (cocaine use, poor nutrition, alcohol and cigarette use, among them) were absent. I hadn't fallen or been in a car accident, which can sometime cause an abruption, so the best answer I have gotten from the docs is that sometimes, unexplainable shit just happens. I'd like to blame it on my stats exam, but the doctors said no. Amos thinks its because Awesome is such a feisty little kicker that she just kicked something loose. Again, the doctors said that was highly unlikely. So who knows?

So here is the great news: Awesome and I are doing fine. I'm home. She didn't have to be delivered. I'm not on a bunch of crazy drugs, and neither is Awesome. I have to take it easy but am not on bed rest.

Here is the news that's a bit more ambiguous: We don't know why it happened, and whether it will happen again. According to the doc, they can't put a number on the odds of it happening again, just that its more likely that it could happen again, than if it hadn't happened at all. If it does happen again, I will have to deliver her. And if I can hold out until the 23rd, I will most likely be able to have her at Clark, a hospital environment that I like much, much better than Norton's because she will be far enough along to do well there.

Docs were also unable to tell me whether or not I would be able to carry her to 40 weeks. One doctor said he thought it would be unlikely and that she would probably come around week 36 or 37. Another doc said it was quite possible I'd make it until 40 weeks. Since I would like her to stay in there as long as possible, so she has plenty of room to grow strong and more awesome, and I like the idea of her having a February birthday (far enough away from Christmas not to get shafted), I'm going to move forward with the belief that she is in it for the long haul.

Another bit of ambiguity is whether or not I will be able to come to Cincy again before she arrives. The doctors didn't want me driving up there for Christmas, so soon after being released from the hospital, so our immediate family is going to head this way for the holiday. We'll have to wait and see about travel after that, I guess.

More than anything, I am so lucky to be healthy and to have a healthy baby. Amos has been wonderful from the moment I woke him in a panic to get me to the hospital, to bringing me a poinsettia and Christmas movies to make my hospital room feel more Christmas-y, to loving me and treating me so wonderfully. It was also fantastic to have my mom here cooking, doing laundry and doing dishes, all while doing that Mom thing that she does so so well. The doctors, nurses and support staff at both Clark and Norton's were fantastic and I always felt like I was in capable hands. They all took the time to answer my questions the best they could. I really appreciate how well the two hospitals supported each other and did not seem to give me competing advice. Although we didn't tell many people (we wanted to wait until we knew what was happening), those friends and family who did know were awesome, calling and checking in, making sure to be available if we needed anything, filling my hospital room with beautiful flowers, and sending lots of thoughts and prayers our way. Thank you, everyone for making us all feel so, so loved. It made this whole scary experience a little less scary and overwhelming, knowing that I had the support of everyone.

This week has been crazy and overwhelming and I am glad to be home, safe and sound. This week it is my goal to take it easy and try an inject as much holiday spirit into the week, even though I won't be able to run around doing my last minute Christmas shopping marathon. All this rest and relaxation has meant that I have gotten to see about 10 movies, including White Christmas, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, Home Alone 2, Toy Story 3 and Pineapple Express (a perennial holiday favorite).

So, that's about all for now. I will see Beth, our midwife, tomorrow and hopefully, everything will continue to look promising. I will be sure to post updates as they come.


Dear Little Bear,

Mama had a scary week! I hope and pray that you had no idea what was going on and were just wondering why I have been lying around so much. While I would have been more than happy to meet you face to face this week, I am very glad you decided to hold out a little longer. One exciting part of the week was that Papa and I got to see you on the ultrasound (twice!) and you are still so so cute! And, apparently very hairy! The ultrasound tech cracked up at how much hair was waving around on you beautiful noggin and even took a picture of all your gorgeous luscious locks! Between Papa and I, its no surprise you have the mane you do! You also looked a little crowded in my tummy, which means you are getting bigger and bigger everyday! Your knees were tucked in and your hands were up by your mouth. I hope you are sucking your thumb and not biting your fingernails. Take it from me, that is a hard habit to break. I also saw why I have to pee every 30 minutes. Your little head loves to press press press right up against my bladder. You silly bear! I didn't know I could go to the bathroom so much, until you came around! The ultrasound tech also had me guess how much you weighed, and guess what?! I was EXACTLY right! You weigh 3 pounds 7 oz!

So, despite all the drama of the week, I hope you keep on staying your happy, healthy, Awesome self and that you continue to grow bigger and stronger everyday, inside my tummy, until it seems like a good time to come out and great the world. Keep those kicks coming, because they are wonderful reminders that you are doing great and that I don't need to worry about you.

I can't wait to hold you and am so glad that we made it through our first scary moment together, safe and sound.

Papa and I love you very very very very very very much.

Love,

Mama

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Glamour Shots

Okay, so I've been thinking about those maternity portraits that have become common place these days. Now, let me be clear, I obviously see the value in documenting my growing waistline, and if I could have a better, more creative photographer take my picture every week, I would. And I have been tossing around the idea of having some pics taken of Amos and I to mark this auspiscious time in our lives, so that we can show Awesome some day and say, "Look how big and happy Mama was! Look how rested Papa looks! Look how swollen Mama's fingers were! Don't ever forget the sacrifices we made for you!" Starting documentation for later parental guilt is always a good idea.

However, I must say, some of these maternity portraits are borderline creepy, and or cheesy, and or ridiculous. Maybe its just me. I know the pictures can be beautiful and look very natural and I think I would like that. Perhaps its the posing that I don't like. For some reason, I find the pictures of fathers on their knees, face to their wives rotund bellies, with silly grins, slightly unnerving:



Or the cheesy hands-making-a heart over the pregnant belly shot. It was probably a stroke of genius the first time someone figured out that gem of a pose, but now....its just....



My fear is if we decided to get some pics taken it would be similar to the time my mom and I thought it would be hi-larious to go to the mall and have Glamour Shots taken of us, being overtly cheesy, and give them, as a gag gift, to my dad for Christmas. Well, lets just say that the staff of Glamour Shots were not in on the joke, and we came away with 150 prints of Mom and I in cowboy hats and off the shoulder boas blowing kisses at the camera, and looking like we took ourselves WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. I wish now that those pictures could have been burned on the spot. I can't even laugh at them they are so painfully awkward. So, while I would love to have pictures taken, by a great photographer, I fear it may be a Glamour Shots repeat, and I would never forgive myself (or at least my vanity wouldn't) Here are some examples of what I fear, courtesy of one of my favorite websites, www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com:



And for the outdoorsy types (like Amos and I):



I have not ruled out a photo session. But its going to have to be with the right photographer, and I don't think I will wear a cowboy hat or a boa this time.

I officially can get into the Christmas spirit, as Amos' birthday was Sunday (December 5th), and for me, that's when I give myself permission to crank up the Kris Kringle! Today I found myself wondering if it was too early to start decorating the house with kid-related items. Is it too early to invite an Elf on a Shelf into the house? Can I leave a plate of cookies and a glass of milk out for Santa this year, just so he knows where we are for the coming years? Can I go sit on Santa's lap this year and insist he listen to Awesome's wish-list via fetal monitor?

While I am excited about the years of kid-filled Christmases ahead of us, I am also trying to treasure our last Christmas together, just the two of us. Our friends Brett and Jess, similarly pregnant during Christmas this time last year, celebrated the holiday in a condo in Hawaii, just the two of them. Hmmmm....that would be nice. Alas, I don't see tropical sands and crystal blue waters in our near fiscal future. I did suggest to Amos that we could, as a substitute, spend a long weekend at that indoor water park off 1-71. That's second-best, right? Fingers crossed.

Speaking of glamor shots, here is week 31's picture. She's quite the little bundly ball of joy!



Dear Little Bear,

I went out today to do a little Christmas shopping and was so tired after the first stop. You must really be needing my energy, because I am getting more and more sleepy during the day. Not to mention that I have to get up every 45 minutes during the night to pee, and when I stand up it feels like you drop a balling ball on my bladder. Last night it felt like you were shimmying and shaking your groove. What were you doing? Sometimes all your moving around keeps me awake, mostly because I lie there trying to imagine what you look like and what kind of personality you have. As much as I love sleeping, I really love our late night rendezvous. Papa and I wish that we had another ultrasound, so that we could watch and see how much you've grown, but at the same time, we like the idea of holding off until your big debut in a couple months!

I can't wait until school is over next week, so I can rest more and you can do some more growing.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Birth Fairies and Finals

Ughh. Finals. I am so tired. See?



Rosco lies awake and contemplates the meaning of life and I sleep. Sweet, sweet, slumber. I take it where I can.

Remind me why I decided that it would be a good idea to take all the classes I had been dreading (multivariate statistics, anyone?) this semester before Awesome comes. I know, I know, that it will all be worth it two weeks from now when its all over and I am basking in the holiday glory of the semester being over, but now- UGH. The truth is I have been ready for this semester to be over before midterms. Of course, I'm sure the impending arrival of our sweet girl doesn't help me stay focus. I am TRYING to be in the moment and get everything done, but I'm just so....over it. Here is a picture, week 30, of what finals does to me:



Speaking of class, Amos (also known as the Greatest Husband On Earth), we have been to two birthing classes so far and Amos has only said, "Oh my fucking God" under his breath once! And that was only after the teacher asked us if we knew what "birth fairies" were. Apparently there are birth fairies, who come and visit women in childbirth and throw a kink in everything. Huh. Who knew? Now we do. Apparently, I am also a "birth warrior" who has permission to "howl like a wolf" whenever I feel the urge! Okay, so the class can be a bit out there sometimes. And we have to sit on the floor the entire two hours, because birth is uncomfortable and we should be prepared for that. But, we are learning some good stuff, and the teacher is a midwife who clearly knows what she's talking about when it comes to labor and birth. And I am glad we are taking the class. And I am thankful that Amos is coming with me. And that he calls me his "Little Birth Warrior" now. I am woman, hear me howl!



Dear Little Bear,

I am getting so excited for school to be over in a couple weeks so I can start getting the house ready for your arrival! Right now we don't even have a place for your clothes, let alone your little body! So we've got some rearranging and purging to do. We've got so many great friends and family who have been offering and showering us with so many things to get ready for you. We already have a crib, a bassinet, a swing, lots of sweet clothes, and a cradle made by your Papaw that your Papa slept in when he was a little bear!

You kicked my ribs today and it hurt. Be careful, okay? Mama loves you, but I also love my body and would like it not be bruised. I promise to do more stretching in the coming in weeks, so that you feel like you have more room in there. But go easy on the ribs.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Grateful

As Thanksgiving is upon us, and I look around to count my multitude of blessings, I am overwhelmed with gratitude at all this year has brought for me. Having the love and support of such a wonderful husband, fabulous family and fantastic friends, has made this year, and my pregnancy so amazing.

This past weekend, my friends Angela and Rachel threw me an amazing baby party and invited all my school friends. Everyone brought a book for Awesome's library, along with a bead they selected, with me in mind, that I will string on a necklace to have with me during labor, so I know that that I have the love and support of all my friends. Two of the beads were bears, one for Little Bear and one for Mama Bear. How fantastic is that?! Everyone also videotaped messages to Awesome, talking about Amos and I and how great they think we are, so that she can watch it when she is older. I can't wait until she's a teenager and some guy comes to our house to pick her up for their first date, and we insist that we all sit down and watch the video before they go out. Awwwww......so romantic. My mom and Amos' mom, Bet drove down for the party. It was great to have them there celebrating along with us.

Good times, good people.

The hostesses, Angela and Rachel.

Today, I spent the day making pies for Thanksgiving tomorrow. It was great to have the day off to spend in the kitchen, doing what I love to do, as well as spend some quality time with Amos. I really cherish our time alone, as I know it will soon be even further and fare between. This semester has been tough and has felt like it has dragged on. What has made it especially hard is that Amos and I have nearly opposite schedules and rarely get to spend any time together. It was nice to spend this rainy day inside, sleeping late in a warm bed with a warm husband and cuddly dog and cat, and then to get my hands in some flour, warm up with kitchen and make pies all day.


Working on the filling for the apple-blackberry pie.

The finished products, including Amos' favorite- pumpkin.


Speaking of pumpkins....I am officially in the seventh month of my pregnancy and Awesome is, apparently the size of a pumpkin, or some similarly round medium sized squash. How apt for Thanksgiving!

According to thebump.com, Awesome’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped me off yet?) Awesome is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as I’ve also noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with my own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments. Well, sounds like she's getting to be quite the chubster! Speaking of chubster...



Starting to look quite rotund in week 29, if I do say so myself!



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I are so excited about Thanksgiving this year, and there is so much to be thankful for, with YOU being at the top of the list! Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday and this year we are going to three, yes THREE, Thanksgiving meals! We start the day with Papa's Pops and step-mom's house (don't know what you will decide to call them yet) at noon. We are really looking forward to seeing them, as well as seeing Mamaw (the other Katy Hopkins), who is 89 this year. We are very lucky to be able to share a meal with her, no doubt. I can't wait for you to meet her. You will love her!

At 3 we are off to visit with Papa's Mama Spoons (Grandma moniker TBA) to have a meal with her, your Uncle Andy and Aunt Seneca, and all the members of the Stewart family. That should be a lot of fun, too! The Stewarts are a funny bunch of folks and you will really love being around such silly people.

We end the night at my Mama and Papa's house, where it will be another full house with a great feast. Your Uncle Josh and Aunt Amy will be there, along with many good friends from Cincinnati and Louisville.

I hope you like all the turkey tomorrow! I will try not to eat too much, especially because my stomach is all squished up, with you taking up so much room in my tummy!

Little Bear, we are so, so grateful for you.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Up, The Sequel

So...I apparently blew up over the weekend. Okay, not literally. That would've been very very messy. Last week, I felt cute and tiny (which, needless to say is not a word I generally, even when I'm not pregnant, use to describe myself). This week, I feel GINORMOUS. It could be a mind over matter issue. I felt great early in the week, and then I saw a picture that changed everything. And so now, I present Exhibit A:



What the hell happened?!!!! More importantly, why didn't
anyone tell me that my boobs were so huge?! No wonder people were saying that my belly looks small. It does compared to breasts that are larger than my head! Not to mention that horizontal stripes don't really help my cause. I look like if I wasn't tethered to the ground I would float away. Maybe Amos should tie me to the chimney and I can carry the house away and take Amos and I to some tropical island in the South Pacific, where similarly well endowed island women can commiserate with me. And did I mention that I haven't, in fact, gained an ounce in the past week and a half? So it must all be air. After I saw this picture I immediately started to feel huge and feel like Awesome was stretching and flipping and expanding my body at an alarming rate.

Last night I came home and showed Amos my belly. He said, and he wasn't kidding,"Oh my God! When did you become pregnant?! I swear your belly doubled in size since last week!" See? Its not just me. And then he drew this:



An ode to Mark Twain. Hopefully, Awesome never looks like this. And more importantly, hopefully she will never, ever smoke a pipe. Let alone smoke. When my mom saw this picture she tried for several minutes to figure out what kind of ball I was holding. That's not a ball. That's Awesome. Crazy.

In other news, I had my first baby shower! It was a very sweet lunch thrown by my lovely boss, Danna and my co-worker, Donna. Guests included my fellow GA office mates and coworkers. It was lovely and we ate mini pimento cheese sandwiches and iced tea and carrot cake and mini chocolate bars with wrappers that said, "Its a Girl!" Utter sweetness. Here are a couple pictures from the day:


Emily, me, Rachel and Angela

Maxine, Danna, Donna, me, Angela, Peggy

Natalie, Seilah, Emily, Angela, Rachel

It was really nice and wonderful to be surrounded by such great women, many of them mamas themselves. I'm so grateful to count them as friends and co-workers.

So its been a busy 28th week. And although there are lots of belly shots included in this post, here's the official shot:


Dear Little Bear,

I hope you have enough room in my tummy, because you have certainly been moving and shaking and twisting around and I would hate to think that you're cramped in there. Truthfully, I love all the things that carrying you is doing to my body, because they are signs that you are growing and healthy. And, it looks like you probably won't have a problem going hungry, which is also good news!

I can really feel your body as you move around now, whereas before I could only feel your swift little movements. I can't wait until I can tell if what I am feeling is your foot, or your head, or your hand, or your cute little butt!

Papa drew a very silly picture on my tummy this week. Hopefully the fumes from the Sharpie didn't bother you. He likes to draw lots of silly pictures. I hope that you inherit his great artistic eye and hand. I'm not so good on the visual end of the arts, but I'm guessing that between Papa and I, you are bound to have some creative genes.

Having an artist spirit is so wonderful and has brought many great opportunities and people into mine and your Papa's lives- most importantly each other. We'll be sure to tell you all about how we met some day. Its a pretty fantastic story. One of the best parts of our story, so far, is you!

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama





Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Before I launch into this week's tirade, here is week 27's pic, alongside a picture of a gorgeous eggplant that apparently gives a rough estimate of her size the past few weeks. According to thebump.com, "Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes." Sounds like she's already quite the beauty!



While I normally try and inject humor and lightheartedness into these posts, this week I am taking a slightly more serious turn. This past weekend, I found myself at a table having a particularly disturbing conversation with two friends. Now, while these friends will remain nameless, I will say that they both happen to be mothers of two boys a piece. They also happen to be two friends whom I generally regard as strong-willed, intelligent, independently-minded women- you know the type of people I like to generally surround myself with. You can imagine my dismay when the conversation turned to mothering girls and they both started to share their opinions about why they are thankful that they don't have to do it.

One friend said, "The existence God was finally affirmed when I was blessed with two boys and no girls." The other friend chimed in, "Oh yeah, girls are PURE EVIL." The first friend continued, "Girls are just too smart." WHAT?!?! I just sat there in silence. WHAT?!?! Okay,so there I was sat, dumbfounded, beautiful baby girl in utero, and they did not seem to be considering how these statements may settle with me (let alone the virgin ears of my unborn). Are they serious? Perhaps they were being a little tongue in cheek, but still. I do believe they honestly feel grateful not to have to tackle the challenge of raising a girl. Whats with the women-hatin'? Let my rant now commence:

Now, I could begin by identifying myself as a feminist who feels it is my duty to defend the honor of the female gender, but in truth, had these women been two mothers of girls and they were saying similar statements about boys, I would have been equally disturbed. But I must focus specifically on the vitriolic proclamations of my female companions. Let me begin by addressing the first statement, about God sparing my friend from raising girls. Now I believe my friend's intention was a suggestion that raising girls is a more difficult and complicated task and that boys are simple creatures. (An unfair statement about both genders). To be honest, I have yet to raise a girl or a boy, so my expertise is not well formed. However, I have had the great pleasure of spending many, many hours with boys and girls of all ages, and I have found all of them, regardless of their gender, to be fascinating, challenging, complicating and, at times, wonderfully simple. Each child I have met have been a striking individual, and while I have noted and believe in the existence of the common occurrences of gender differences, none of these differences have struck me as something to be feared. Now onto the statement about girls being "PURE EVIL." It pisses me off that I even typed this phrase twice, let alone had to endure hearing it. I can't even begin to imagine why and where she would come up with this conclusion, nor do I appreciate the suggestion that my lovely daughter is anything less that wonderful. My daughter will be wonderful because of the girl she will be and the woman she will become. Period. And then the utterly ridiculous statement that girls are "too smart." Don't even get me started. What is this, the 1950's?! My friend was suggesting, or at least I believe she was, that girls use their intelligence to be manipulative and crafty. Somehow I doubt people describe men' and boys use of their intelligence in this way.

Now, perhaps part of my reaction is fueled by my mother bear instinct, but that's only part of it. Now to be fair, I myself have gotten sucked in to trash talking other women, but when I check myself and really address the root of what fuels what I'm saying, it usually involves me feeling threatened or jealous of them. And you know where that gets me? No where. No woman is ever served or made greater by making other women around her seem small. As a woman it is my duty to celebrate and respect other women, as well as expect greatness. Because if we don't do this for one another, who will?

I am looking forward greatly to the challenge of raising an amazing girl who will become an outstanding woman. I hope that she is stubborn and outspoken, feisty and whip-smart. I hope that she has moments where she finds her foot stuck firmly in her mouth. I also hope she finds all the ways in the world to use all of her talents, especially her intelligence, to get what she needs in this world. More than anything I hope that she will teach me, as she already has, how to be a better mother, woman and human being.

And to my friends out there who are glad they didn't have girls, I hope in the very least you are raising your sons to have the utmost respect and honor for the power and grace of our daughters.



Dear Little Bear,

One of my greatest hopes for you is that you are always aware of how amazing you are. Women are wonderful, powerful, gorgeous creatures, and you will find yourself surrounded by many great versions of them. Your grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts and friends are already testimonies to that fact.

Never except anything less than respect for who you are and who you are becoming. Demand it and fight for it. In turn, treat others in kind.

A very wise woman, named Marianne Williamson, once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Papa and I love you very much.

Shine on, baby girl.

Love,

Mama








Monday, November 1, 2010

Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior aka Mommy Dearest

The headline of my weekly email from babycenter.com must have had me in mind this week when it read, "Is it safe to binge on Halloween candy?" Apparently, it is safe! Whew! Okay, so there is a caveat, that the binging be done "within reason." I'm sorry, but 'Halloween candy' and 'reason' do not co-exist. Of course, I also think the article was referring to the safety of binging on candy on Halloween night, not every night afterward as well. But I better get back on the wagon soon, because my glucose test is early next week, and I would hate to find that my candy gluttony led to a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Ouch. But some candy is good for you. Reese Cups=protein. Swedish Fish= Omega 3's. Okay, tomorrow I will eat kale chips, but tonight I feast on Airheads and Sour Patch Kids!!!!

We had our second annual Dia De Los Meurtos Party this past Saturday. On Friday, we thought maybe ten people would show, but I think we ended up with over fifty! Sheesh. It was fun, although I struggled with what my costume would be. Let's face it, its tough to come up with a good costume when you're pregnant. They don't make maternity versions of all those sexy costumes out there. No skanky pregnant nurse costume for me. Shame. I was going to be a nun- nothing like a pregnant nun to shake up the Catholics at the party. But, I was swamped all day Saturday and didn't have time to make a nun's habit. Thankfully, the tiny Mexican grocery down the street from my house saved the day and I scored an awesome mask for only 10 bucks, thus producing The Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior!! Amos dressed up as my manager, Hector the Horrible.



I am considering asking our midwife to wear the mask when she delivers Awesome. That way, when she sees my face, she will be so relieved to be held by someone so safe and nonthreatening, she'll never stray far and never leave my side. We also decided to dress up Rosco, so that he could greet all the trick-or-treaters in style. Doesn't he look adorable?!



If you can't humiliate your pets and children by dressing them up in silly costumes, what good are they?!

Juliette Binoche and I are still on bad terms.



Last night she had the AUDACITY to wake me up FOUR TIMES to go in and out! The last time she started to scratch on the sheet by my head, I grabbed my slipper and in an utter fit of
rage slapped her with it. I then lay in bed, near tears, thinking, "Oh my God, I'm a terrible mother already." I just hit someone I love without even flinching. I might even go so far as to call it instinctual. In a state of sleep deprivation and rage, I lashed out and hit her. What will keep me from doing the same to poor little defenseless Awesome?! I'm going to have to get one of those Don't Shake The Baby bumper stickers and post it over her crib, just to protect her from my crazed fits of anger. I need an intervention now, before its too late and I am out of control. I went out today and bought a spray bottle, which in the past has worked to curb those middle of the night face-offs between Juliette and I. And I figure, even if it turns into a habit, spraying Awesome in the face with water in the middle of the night is not nearly as bad as slapping her across the room with my shoe.

Here is my week 26 picture. I think I look a little bigger, but its probably just candy bloat.



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I voted today. I hope when you're old enough to vote you cherish how important and vital it is to be a part of the political process. Elections seem to get crazier and crazier every year, and I pray that by the time you are our age, sanity has been somewhat restored. Even with her flaws, America is such a wonderful country for so many reasons, and we enjoy so many wonderful freedoms that are a mere glimmer in other parts of the world. I hope that you are able to always have access to affordable health care, excellent education, safe streets, freedom to choose who you marry and freedom to make choices for your own body.

Papa and I will always love you, no matter who you are, who you choose to be, no matter what.

Love,

Mama

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Land of Nod...... or MaybeNod Tonight

Wow, thank goodness its Halloween this weekend, so that when people comment me on my scary, haggard appearance, I can just say, "Oh you mean, this face? Oh, I just look like this for the holiday. Ya, know...BOO!" When in truth its because I have slept like crap all week, which has really added to my Zombie street cred. I feel like sleeplessness during pregnancy is some cruel, cruel joke. I am supposed to be storing up sleep now, because, as 'they' say, once the baby comes I'm not going to sleep again for 18+ years. So last week I was blaming the cat. This week, its the cat, and the dog, and the trains, and the husband, oh and a tiny little one named Dance Diva Awesome, not to mention just waking up, lying there and just, being awake. Not much on my mind. Just lying there. Which means when its 9:30pm the next night and I am sitting in class trying to figure out how to score a very complicated intellectual assessment with very little intellectual power left in me, or I am sitting in class trying to figure out how I will possible face the three hour midterm in multivariate statistics that sits in front of me, I just close my eyes and think, "Hey, this is not what I bargained for." I thought all this sleep deprivation was supposed to come AFTER the baby arrives, not BEFORE. But that's just it, isn't it? Looks like she already has arrived.

When Amos and I were first talking about having a baby, I was telling him that its not like we would have a baby right away, we'd have 40 weeks of waiting around for the baby, 40 more weeks of baby-less, carefree lifestyle. And Amos looked at me and said, "Katy, as soon as you get pregnant, we will HAVE a baby." And now I get it. He was right. I admit it. She's already here in so many ways. But at the same time, she's not here, and I want her to be. But, then again, I don't. I cherish my baby-free life, perhaps even more now that its slipping away. Which is WHY, I'd like to sleep as much as I can, while I can!

The other night Amos said to me, "I wish this pregnancy was like our engagement and wedding." We got engaged and BAM! three months later, we were married. It was all so fast. We went from unmarried and untied to married with many ties. But I love those ties. I wouldn't change those ties for anything. I'm guessing transitioning into parenting will be the same way. But in the meantime, how about a decent night's sleep?

Here's a pic of me, 25 weeks, in one of my many Halloween masks...




Dear Little Bear,

I want you to know that I will gladly trade all the full nights of sleep just to hang out with you.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Monday, October 18, 2010

Trained


Our pets, Rosco P. Coltrane and Juliette Binoche, are our children. They are our "first borns." I wonder if they make t-shirts for cats and dogs that say, "I'm the Big Brother" or "I'm the Big Sister." If not, they should. I would buy them. These animals have me wrapped around their paws. Its true. This is how I knew I had a problem:

This is Juliette.


Three nights ago at approximately 4:36am, Juliette started scratching on the bed by my head. Okay, so I could choose to ignore her, but I am in a sleeping phase right now that when I wake up (which I do about 6 times a night) I immediately have to pee a gallon. Also, if I am awake for too long, I can't fall back asleep for another hour or two (after several more trips to the bathroom). So, ignoring Juliette doesn't work, because the mere fact that I am awake means I have to get up anyway to trek to the bathroom, and if I just lie there waiting for her to stop, I will end up not being able to fall back asleep and will be VERY disgruntled. So needless to say, when she starts to scratch, as she does EVERY night, at approximately 4:36, I shoot up out of bed and attend to her. Now, for several weeks, when she scratched at the bed, she wanted to let out the back door (which is in our bedroom). Sometimes, she would insist to be let out the front door (the back door was too low class for her, I guess). But, now, the charade goes something like this: I get up to let her out and open the door and instead she goes to her food bowl, because all of a sudden, she is, apparently, famished. I then go to the bathroom and WAIT for her to finish eating, and then when she is ready, in her own precious time, I let her out. So a couple of nights ago, I am curled up at the foot my bed (getting back into bed and situated with all my pillows is too involved), trying not to fall back asleep, as I know she will be waking me up any second, but also trying not to wake up too much, while she chomps away in the next room, taking her own damned sweet time. Now you rational people out there may say, "Katy, you are being silly. Throw her out the back door and forget about her!" And to you I say, "But if I throw her out before she is done eating she will surely starve to death on the streets, or turn to whoring, and I can't be responsible for that!" Of course, she probably wouldn't starve, what's a more likely reality is that 30 minutes later I will hear a *scratch scratch meow* at the door because SOMEONE is hungry and didn't get to finish her meal. By the way, to prove the true extent of this cat manipulation, Juliette has been waking me up in the middle of night since she was a kitten, 9 YEARS AGO. Its a sickness, I know. Perhaps, I will have to resort to the trusty spray bottle, which sends chills of terror down her spine when she eyes it, but makes me feel like a very bad mommy. If only she could have a star chart and I could reward her for a week of good behavior. No such luck, I think.

And then there is Rosco, also known as Amos' first love.


We bought a king size bed to accommodate Rosco, because he needs at least half of it to be comfortable. Did I mention that he prefers to have his head on a pillow (or under one) and be under the blankets. Yeah.


Oh and don't forget the fact that Amos prefers to sleep diagonally on the bed, and when Juliette is not demanding to eat or be let out, she's on there too. This picture was taken when I got up to go to the bathroom one morning. None of their positions shifted when I got up, so try and imagine where my pregnant, 5'9" self sleeps:


So where does that leave me? Curled up and shivering in the corner of my bed wondering what's wrong with this picture. Oh and by the way, Rosco has his own queen size bed in his own bedroom that he spends all day in. However, this room will soon be changed into a nursery and his bed will longer be there. Oh, the humanity!

It may be a bad sign of whats to come that our pets have me trained to do ridiculous things for them. If I can't say no to a dog and a cat, how will I possibly say no to a child?!

Anyway, here is my week 24 shot.




Dear Little Bear,

We hope that you love animals as much as we do. Papa has a special gift of getting little wild animals to eat out of his hand, a skill he learned from his Mamaw. He also likes to make animal calls on his fiddle. When I was a little girl, I lived on a farm and had circus and all of my animals were a part of it. This was my first lesson in "herding cats." You will probably learn that lesson, too, someday. We hope that your life will be filled with lots of soft furry creatures for you to love and play with, as our lives always have. But be careful, those sweet animals work their way into your heart and you can't let go. You'll see.

Mama and Papa (and Rosco and Juliette) love you very much,

Love,

Mama

Monday, October 11, 2010

Classy

Okay, so as I near my 6 month of pregnancy its time I start getting real about this whole impending labor and birth business. Now, I was really proactive about a month ago and hired a fantastic and much-sought-after doula, Susan. Amos is a little unsure about how Susan is going to be our labor super-hero, but I know that he will see the light when all is said and done. I did my hippie mommy duty and read Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. I am now officially on board with having a blissfully wonderful labor and delivery where Amos and I make out like teenagers the entire time and earth mothers surround me in light and love and the world is free of pain and Awesome looks up at me, immediately after I have birthed her with my own hands, and she silently mouths, "Thank you." And we are ONE in our naturally induced Oxytocin blissfullness. Its gonna happen. Because I read the books. Just watch.

But, first I gotta get my ass (and Amos's) into a childbirth class. And, for some reason, thats not so easy. A month ago, my midwife asked me, "So have you signed up for your birthing class yet?" "Oh, I'm just narrowing it down, I plan to really really soon," I reply. Flash forward, a month later, to today when I am sitting in her office and she asks me about it again, and this time, I lie. I say, with great confidence, "Oh, yeah. Totally. Signed up and ready to go!" "Oh." she replies, "Which one?" and then I proceed to tell her the name of a class I have been meaning to sign up for, but haven't. I lied to my midwife. That's got to be a cardinal sin of hippie mommy-dom.

So why haven't I signed up? Well, for starters, Amos and I have opposite and very packed schedules and it really hasn't been easy finding a class that meets at a time when we are both available. Another part of me dreads having something else added to my schedule- for nine weeks. And another part of me is stressed that the class will suck and I will feel compelled to stick it out and suffer (as is my nature when I am taking a class), even though its cheesy and/or boring and/or exhausting, and I will be dragging Amos down with me, because we have to take a class to be good parents and have a good birth experience. Amos hears the word class and instantly thinks of sneaking off and smoking in the boys room and I think of pleasing the teacher and getting an A+.

The last time I convinced Amos to accompany me on something that was reminiscent of school it was the U of L Graduate Dance. (Yes, I made him go). I thought it would be like prom and we would be Queen and King and we would slow dance to Whitney Houston and my high school dreams would come true. In reality, the band sucked, there was a two-drink maximum, and Amos got busted filling his 5 dollar coke with bourbon from his flask in the bathroom and watched as the rent-a-cop poured his Old Forester down the drain. Amos then spent the rest of the night sulking in his chair and I was mad at him for not buying me a corsage. In other words, high school all over again. Good times. At least I looked cute.

So now its back to school for us, and I just need to bite the bullet and we will survive. And we will graduate. And feel more prepared, because that's what these classes do. Everyone I know who took the classes in Louisville recommended them and said they were so glad they did (even the fathers said this). So we gotta do it. Pronto.

And now that I lied to our midwife, I have to sign up, basically, tomorrow, so I won't be lying anymore. Because lying to someone who will know you very intimately is not a good idea.

Anyhoo, here is the week 23 picture:



I look like a liar, don't I?


Dear Little Bear,

This week, Papa brought Rosco to visit me at school. He brought along a very yummy picnic of sushi (cooked fish for me, raw for him), french bread, fancy cheeses, avocado and chocolate. Delicious. We ate outside in the middle of campus and Rosco did what he does best. Chase squirrels. Papa hopes that you will like hunting squirrels as much as he and Rosco do.

I have really been liking feeling you kick away, but its time you kick Papa in the face. I think he'd like it. He talks to you and you get very still. I know his voice is deep and soothing, that's why Mama loves him so much, but he would really love it if you gave him a little tap, so that he knows your listening. Just a suggestion.

Keep dancing.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Brief Week in Review

Okay, so I write this on the eve of my 23rd week and have to make sure that I get a recap of week 22 out right away. I had a great weekend visit home to Cincinnati and Spring Valley. Got to see the folks and get treated like a queen. Yummy food, ice cream, comfy beds, tie dye onesies, shopping sprees and a pillow overload. Both my mom and Bet, Amos's mom had heard that I was having difficulty sleeping, so they went out and bought me a variety of comfy body pillows that now surround me like a cocoon. How Amos actually manages to find me under the mountain of pillows, I don't know. I had been thinking that if I just surround myself in the myriad of pillows we already owned, that I would be okay and no new pillows could possibly make that big of a difference. But oh, was I wrong! Lets just say that a miracle pillow, also known as The Snoogle, has forever changed my life and extended my sleep intervals from two hours to a blissfully long 3 1/2 hours (before I wake up and have to pee). Thank you, thank you Moms!

I also got to see my dear dear friends, The Riddlebarger/Coppola Families. I have known them my whole life and had not seen them since I've been pregnant, so it was wonderful to see them and sit around marveling at life cycles. We sat around the table discussing favorite childhood books, among them The Boxcar Children, Little House on the Prairie, The Borrowers, The BFG, Little Women, The Little Princess, The Secret Garden. So many good books about adventurous little girls (and boys). It made me so excited to share these books with Awesome and read together the way I read with my mom. Reading was such a vital portal for me into other world and I hope it will be for her, too. Of course, we'll probably read Harry Potter together, as well, new classics to add to the older ones. Any other suggestions? I commented that so many of the books had to do with orphan children and Ruth pointed out that these types of books help children develop their own sense of wonder and independence. I really hope that we are successful in allowing Awesome to be independent and adventurous. A life filled with wonder is an absolute must!

Apparently I could start reading to her right now, if I want. According to thebump.com, "Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop." I wish I could sleep for 12-14 hours a day!

All very exciting! And here is my week 22 picture along with a piece of fruit:



Dear Little Bear,

I saw all of your grandparents this weekend and they are so so excited to meet you! I wonder what you will call them. You are so lucky to have such wonderful grandmas and grandpas who are so much fun and creative and silly and will love you to bits! They will also, undoubtedly, spoil you rotten. They have all already started buying you presents! I told them they have to keep them all at their houses for the time being until Papa and I have a place to put them all. Of course, they will probably have things for you to play with that they keep at their house, too, so that you are never bored. With any of them, you are bound to have a great time! You are one lucky Little Bear!

You also have 4 great grandma's and a great grandpa who will also love you and shower you with affection! Did I mention your aunts and uncles? You will have two uncles, Josh and Andy and many aunties, including Amy, Seneca, Mimi H. and Mimi E!

Of course, there are tons and tons of other family members who will love love love you! What an Awesome family you have! Everyone is so so excited to meet you!

But most of all, Papa and I are excited. We promise to give you a life filled with magic and wonder.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,
Mama

Monday, September 27, 2010

Name Game

Awesome is quite the little mover and shaker! Get this girl started and she just keeps going! This week she has found it especially charming to dance around at 3 in the morning and jump up and down on my bladder. She is clearly already inheriting her father's complete disregard for normal sleep habits. She and I are going to have to have a little chat. According to thebump.com, Awesome gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. This means the more garlicky and spicy foods I eat, the better it will be for her expansive palate in the future. Bring on the Indian food! Awesome is also, apparently, the length of a banana, or a 12 oz beer bottle, in Dude terms.

So here is the requisite week 21 picture:

The waitress at the pizza place over the weekend asked me when I was due, so I guess I definitely look pregnant now. That, or she saw how fervently I attacked the all-you-can eat pizza buffet.

Amos and I have been playing the name game lately, now that we know a little more about Ms. Awesome. Several nights Amos has tried to prevent me from going to bed (even though it was well after midnight and we had been discussing it for hours) in order to discuss this heavy undertaking. Of course, any real considerations will be kept mum until the big birthday announcement. This is very serious business! What a huge responsibility to give someone a name that will follow them for the rest of their lives (unless she changes it later in life to something like Whoopi Goldberg, to make herself more movie star billable). Amos would like to choose a name that will destine her to be a famous writer or cowgirl or musician. I'm okay with that, as long as I can imagine hearing, "Do you White Lightnin' Hopkins swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States." as she is being sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice or President of the United States and not cringing. I just want it to be versatile, so she could really be anything and have a name to go with it. How do parents do this?! Its such a commitment, a name. Of course, whatever her name is, she will undoubtedly make it her own. I know that she will make her name work for her, no matter what it is, because she is, inherently Awesome.

In terms of avoiding teasing, there is only so much we can do. Okay sure, we won't name her Mademoiselle Picklebottom or, as one baby name book actually suggested, Madicken (Really?!). And we probably won't include Chainsaw in her moniker. But in truth, unless we name her something like Mary or Lisa, any name may be open to a tease now or then. I guess it will also be our job as parents to raise her with a healthy sense of self to stand up to that silly playground nonsense. We could go the family name route, or I could name her Bonnie, after my favorite musician (don't think so). We would like to give her a name that she probably won't come across in her life. Take my name, Katy. Katys and Katies are a dime a dozen. Of course, I actually really like my name and don't mind that I have about 15 friends named Katie. Several of them are actors. Several of them are redheads. And one friend spells her name Katy, is an actor and has red hair. She's shorter than me though, so people rarely confuse us. Its a small Katy world. The truth is, nearly every Katy/Katie I have ever met are pretty rockin' strong women. So no complaints here. Amos likes having a name that few others seem to have. Amos has met only one other Amos in his life and he was Amish and the largest producer of onion rings in the country. Plus Amos rhymes with Famous, which has served him well. So, needless to say this naming business is a big deal. We did decide that we would come up with a short list and when we meet her and spend a little time with her, then we will choose a name which fits her best. Thank goodness we have roughly 4 and a half more months to narrow it down.



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I both dreamt about you this week. I dreamt you had dark red curly hair and chubby cheeks. Papa dreamt that while you were in my belly, you pressed your hand against my skin so we could see your hand perfectly. Then you did the same thing with your foot and then your face. He said you looked pretty cute, even through my belly skin.

We are working very hard to come up with a good name for you. I hope you like it, for at least most of the time. We will try do our best to honor your spirit and make a path for a legacy that you will undoubtedly blaze.


Tonight you let me know you REALLY wanted a burger, so I did my best to honor your request by seeking out what Louisvillian's deem the BEST burger in town. It was very yummy, plus I especially enjoyed the self-serve toppings bar, where I loaded up on about a pound of assorted pickles. Yummy. Good idea, Little Bear.

Papa and I love you very much. We can't wait to meet you.

Love, Mama


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Lady Be Good

Whew! What a week! First and foremost let me get to the REALLY big news. We finally got to catch a glimpse at Awesome! Amos and I went for our 20-week ultrasound this week and not only got to check Awesome out, but found out Awesome is a girl! Here is a sweet picture of her. My favorite part of this picture is her sweet little nose and lips. Amos likes her "chubby" cheeks:

And, she is quite an acrobat! Here's a shot of her scratching her forehead with her foot:

She's so talented already! Oh, and in other exciting news, I started to feel her kicking and punching around. Its usually just a little *blip* now and then, and sometimes she seems to really be bouncing around. It is so wonderful to feel her move! In fact I can feel her moving around as I write this post. Now I am counting the days until Amos can feel her move in my belly.

Here is a picture of what I look like at 20 weeks:


According to thebump.com, Awesome is the size of a cantaloupe:


According to the Dad's Pregnancy Guide: "This week your baby is now the size of one nice-sized boob." This is the picture that accompanied this description (Note: These are NOT my boobs):


Okay, so I don't really think "nice sized boobs" are the size of cantaloupes. Boobs the size of cantaloupes are in the "Gazunga" size category. According to my midwife, Awesome is about ten ounces and 6-7 inches in length, so I'm going with thebump.com's size comparison on this one. I think the Dad's Pregnancy Guide just wanted to put some pictures of some boobs up there for good measure....

In other news...Awesome is draining my brain! So much so that I almost typed "braining my drain." I feel like my brain has left the building and left Elvis in its place, and all Elvis wants is gummy worms. Here are just a few examples of my brain blips this week:

A short collection of work related emails that looked like this:

"Dear Mrs. Roberts, Attached you will find the list of U of L students who will be visiting Young Elementary."

5 seconds later:

"Dear Mrs. Smith, Please forgive me for referring to you as Mrs. Roberts. My mistake. My previous email was intended for you."

"Dear Students, Attached you will find a list of teachers from Hawthorne Elementary, whose classrooms you will visit."

8 minutes later:

"Dear Students, You will actually be visiting Apple Elementary, NOT Hawthorne. My mistake."

2 hours later:

"Dear Mrs. Smith, I have just now realized that I named the spreadsheet that I previously sent to you as an attachment as "King Elementary", when it should be named "Young Elementary". I did send you the correct spreadsheet, I just named it incorrectly. My mistake."

And that's just the emails. Don't get me started on the phone calls. Later in the week, I decided to get a head start on some homework for a class I had the next day. I could not, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, visualize what my notebook for this class looked like. It was nowhere on my desk at work, I looked through everything I had, even though I had no idea what I was looking for. Now usually (meaning, pre-pregnancy) I can remember what something I've misplaced looks like and then picture in my mind where it is. No such luck. I tried to put myself in the classroom where I take this particular class and imagine myself with my notebook, but I could not think, for the life of me, what it looked like. I wracked my brain for 20 minutes trying to figure out where this mystery notebook was, beginning to panic, as my homework was in the notebook. I then told my friend Angela
, who isn't even in my class, about my notebook, and she knew IMMEDIATELY where it was and what it looked like! Thank God for friends who will be my brain for me when my brain seems to be out to lunch. Of course this is the semester that I chose to take multivariate statistics and intellectual assessment (you know, the really easy, simple classes). I then read an article from the American Psychological Association Monitor about research on the "pregnant brain." Apparently, my ability to follow through on tasks with multiple steps- shot. Keeping facts straight- hah! And my working memory- Sayanora! Not to mention that according to the article, by the time I give birth to Awesome, my hormone levels will be ONE THOUSAND TIMES their normal levels. God help me. God help Amos.

Dear Little Bear,

This was such a great week for Papa and me! We finally got a chance to see you this week. You are so perfect and beautiful. Even you spine is gorgeous! I can't wait to kiss those little fingers and toes. Papa and I were very impressed by your flexibility. When I was born, people called me Nadia Comaneci, who was an Olympic gymnast at the time. Looks like you might be another gymnast! Not to mention all the flips and handstands I can now feel you doing inside my belly! I really appreciate you letting me know you are in there. I am sorry about drinking that chai. I think that may have made you go a little bonkers. It felt like you were doing the Macarena.

Oh, and Little Bear, I hope all those brain cells I seem to be missing have made their way down to your noggin' to make you smart smart smart!

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,
Mama