Grateful

As Thanksgiving is upon us, and I look around to count my multitude of blessings, I am overwhelmed with gratitude at all this year has brought for me. Having the love and support of such a wonderful husband, fabulous family and fantastic friends, has made this year, and my pregnancy so amazing.

This past weekend, my friends Angela and Rachel threw me an amazing baby party and invited all my school friends. Everyone brought a book for Awesome's library, along with a bead they selected, with me in mind, that I will string on a necklace to have with me during labor, so I know that that I have the love and support of all my friends. Two of the beads were bears, one for Little Bear and one for Mama Bear. How fantastic is that?! Everyone also videotaped messages to Awesome, talking about Amos and I and how great they think we are, so that she can watch it when she is older. I can't wait until she's a teenager and some guy comes to our house to pick her up for their first date, and we insist that we all sit down and watch the video before they go out. Awwwww......so romantic. My mom and Amos' mom, Bet drove down for the party. It was great to have them there celebrating along with us.

Good times, good people.

The hostesses, Angela and Rachel.

Today, I spent the day making pies for Thanksgiving tomorrow. It was great to have the day off to spend in the kitchen, doing what I love to do, as well as spend some quality time with Amos. I really cherish our time alone, as I know it will soon be even further and fare between. This semester has been tough and has felt like it has dragged on. What has made it especially hard is that Amos and I have nearly opposite schedules and rarely get to spend any time together. It was nice to spend this rainy day inside, sleeping late in a warm bed with a warm husband and cuddly dog and cat, and then to get my hands in some flour, warm up with kitchen and make pies all day.


Working on the filling for the apple-blackberry pie.

The finished products, including Amos' favorite- pumpkin.


Speaking of pumpkins....I am officially in the seventh month of my pregnancy and Awesome is, apparently the size of a pumpkin, or some similarly round medium sized squash. How apt for Thanksgiving!

According to thebump.com, Awesome’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped me off yet?) Awesome is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as I’ve also noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with my own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments. Well, sounds like she's getting to be quite the chubster! Speaking of chubster...



Starting to look quite rotund in week 29, if I do say so myself!



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I are so excited about Thanksgiving this year, and there is so much to be thankful for, with YOU being at the top of the list! Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday and this year we are going to three, yes THREE, Thanksgiving meals! We start the day with Papa's Pops and step-mom's house (don't know what you will decide to call them yet) at noon. We are really looking forward to seeing them, as well as seeing Mamaw (the other Katy Hopkins), who is 89 this year. We are very lucky to be able to share a meal with her, no doubt. I can't wait for you to meet her. You will love her!

At 3 we are off to visit with Papa's Mama Spoons (Grandma moniker TBA) to have a meal with her, your Uncle Andy and Aunt Seneca, and all the members of the Stewart family. That should be a lot of fun, too! The Stewarts are a funny bunch of folks and you will really love being around such silly people.

We end the night at my Mama and Papa's house, where it will be another full house with a great feast. Your Uncle Josh and Aunt Amy will be there, along with many good friends from Cincinnati and Louisville.

I hope you like all the turkey tomorrow! I will try not to eat too much, especially because my stomach is all squished up, with you taking up so much room in my tummy!

Little Bear, we are so, so grateful for you.

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

Up, The Sequel

So...I apparently blew up over the weekend. Okay, not literally. That would've been very very messy. Last week, I felt cute and tiny (which, needless to say is not a word I generally, even when I'm not pregnant, use to describe myself). This week, I feel GINORMOUS. It could be a mind over matter issue. I felt great early in the week, and then I saw a picture that changed everything. And so now, I present Exhibit A:



What the hell happened?!!!! More importantly, why didn't anyone tell me that my boobs were so huge?! No wonder people were saying that my belly looks small. It does compared to breasts that are larger than my head! Not to mention that horizontal stripes don't really help my cause. I look like if I wasn't tethered to the ground I would float away. Maybe Amos should tie me to the chimney and I can carry the house away and take Amos and I to some tropical island in the South Pacific, where similarly well endowed island women can commiserate with me. And did I mention that I haven't, in fact, gained an ounce in the past week and a half? So it must all be air. After I saw this picture I immediately started to feel huge and feel like Awesome was stretching and flipping and expanding my body at an alarming rate.

Last night I came home and showed Amos my belly. He said, and he wasn't kidding,"Oh my God! When did you become pregnant?! I swear your belly doubled in size since last week!" See? Its not just me. And then he drew this:



An ode to Mark Twain. Hopefully, Awesome never looks like this. And more importantly, hopefully she will never, ever smoke a pipe. Let alone smoke. When my mom saw this picture she tried for several minutes to figure out what kind of ball I was holding. That's not a ball. That's Awesome. Crazy.

In other news, I had my first baby shower! It was a very sweet lunch thrown by my lovely boss, Danna and my co-worker, Donna. Guests included my fellow GA office mates and coworkers. It was lovely and we ate mini pimento cheese sandwiches and iced tea and carrot cake and mini chocolate bars with wrappers that said, "Its a Girl!" Utter sweetness. Here are a couple pictures from the day:


Emily, me, Rachel and Angela

Maxine, Danna, Donna, me, Angela, Peggy

Natalie, Seilah, Emily, Angela, Rachel

It was really nice and wonderful to be surrounded by such great women, many of them mamas themselves. I'm so grateful to count them as friends and co-workers.

So its been a busy 28th week. And although there are lots of belly shots included in this post, here's the official shot:


Dear Little Bear,

I hope you have enough room in my tummy, because you have certainly been moving and shaking and twisting around and I would hate to think that you're cramped in there. Truthfully, I love all the things that carrying you is doing to my body, because they are signs that you are growing and healthy. And, it looks like you probably won't have a problem going hungry, which is also good news!

I can really feel your body as you move around now, whereas before I could only feel your swift little movements. I can't wait until I can tell if what I am feeling is your foot, or your head, or your hand, or your cute little butt!

Papa drew a very silly picture on my tummy this week. Hopefully the fumes from the Sharpie didn't bother you. He likes to draw lots of silly pictures. I hope that you inherit his great artistic eye and hand. I'm not so good on the visual end of the arts, but I'm guessing that between Papa and I, you are bound to have some creative genes.

Having an artist spirit is so wonderful and has brought many great opportunities and people into mine and your Papa's lives- most importantly each other. We'll be sure to tell you all about how we met some day. Its a pretty fantastic story. One of the best parts of our story, so far, is you!

Papa and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Before I launch into this week's tirade, here is week 27's pic, alongside a picture of a gorgeous eggplant that apparently gives a rough estimate of her size the past few weeks. According to thebump.com, "Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes." Sounds like she's already quite the beauty!



While I normally try and inject humor and lightheartedness into these posts, this week I am taking a slightly more serious turn. This past weekend, I found myself at a table having a particularly disturbing conversation with two friends. Now, while these friends will remain nameless, I will say that they both happen to be mothers of two boys a piece. They also happen to be two friends whom I generally regard as strong-willed, intelligent, independently-minded women- you know the type of people I like to generally surround myself with. You can imagine my dismay when the conversation turned to mothering girls and they both started to share their opinions about why they are thankful that they don't have to do it.

One friend said, "The existence God was finally affirmed when I was blessed with two boys and no girls." The other friend chimed in, "Oh yeah, girls are PURE EVIL." The first friend continued, "Girls are just too smart." WHAT?!?! I just sat there in silence. WHAT?!?! Okay,so there I was sat, dumbfounded, beautiful baby girl in utero, and they did not seem to be considering how these statements may settle with me (let alone the virgin ears of my unborn). Are they serious? Perhaps they were being a little tongue in cheek, but still. I do believe they honestly feel grateful not to have to tackle the challenge of raising a girl. Whats with the women-hatin'? Let my rant now commence:

Now, I could begin by identifying myself as a feminist who feels it is my duty to defend the honor of the female gender, but in truth, had these women been two mothers of girls and they were saying similar statements about boys, I would have been equally disturbed. But I must focus specifically on the vitriolic proclamations of my female companions. Let me begin by addressing the first statement, about God sparing my friend from raising girls. Now I believe my friend's intention was a suggestion that raising girls is a more difficult and complicated task and that boys are simple creatures. (An unfair statement about both genders). To be honest, I have yet to raise a girl or a boy, so my expertise is not well formed. However, I have had the great pleasure of spending many, many hours with boys and girls of all ages, and I have found all of them, regardless of their gender, to be fascinating, challenging, complicating and, at times, wonderfully simple. Each child I have met have been a striking individual, and while I have noted and believe in the existence of the common occurrences of gender differences, none of these differences have struck me as something to be feared. Now onto the statement about girls being "PURE EVIL." It pisses me off that I even typed this phrase twice, let alone had to endure hearing it. I can't even begin to imagine why and where she would come up with this conclusion, nor do I appreciate the suggestion that my lovely daughter is anything less that wonderful. My daughter will be wonderful because of the girl she will be and the woman she will become. Period. And then the utterly ridiculous statement that girls are "too smart." Don't even get me started. What is this, the 1950's?! My friend was suggesting, or at least I believe she was, that girls use their intelligence to be manipulative and crafty. Somehow I doubt people describe men' and boys use of their intelligence in this way.

Now, perhaps part of my reaction is fueled by my mother bear instinct, but that's only part of it. Now to be fair, I myself have gotten sucked in to trash talking other women, but when I check myself and really address the root of what fuels what I'm saying, it usually involves me feeling threatened or jealous of them. And you know where that gets me? No where. No woman is ever served or made greater by making other women around her seem small. As a woman it is my duty to celebrate and respect other women, as well as expect greatness. Because if we don't do this for one another, who will?

I am looking forward greatly to the challenge of raising an amazing girl who will become an outstanding woman. I hope that she is stubborn and outspoken, feisty and whip-smart. I hope that she has moments where she finds her foot stuck firmly in her mouth. I also hope she finds all the ways in the world to use all of her talents, especially her intelligence, to get what she needs in this world. More than anything I hope that she will teach me, as she already has, how to be a better mother, woman and human being.

And to my friends out there who are glad they didn't have girls, I hope in the very least you are raising your sons to have the utmost respect and honor for the power and grace of our daughters.



Dear Little Bear,

One of my greatest hopes for you is that you are always aware of how amazing you are. Women are wonderful, powerful, gorgeous creatures, and you will find yourself surrounded by many great versions of them. Your grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts and friends are already testimonies to that fact.

Never except anything less than respect for who you are and who you are becoming. Demand it and fight for it. In turn, treat others in kind.

A very wise woman, named Marianne Williamson, once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Papa and I love you very much.

Shine on, baby girl.

Love,

Mama

Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior aka Mommy Dearest

The headline of my weekly email from babycenter.com must have had me in mind this week when it read, "Is it safe to binge on Halloween candy?" Apparently, it is safe! Whew! Okay, so there is a caveat, that the binging be done "within reason." I'm sorry, but 'Halloween candy' and 'reason' do not co-exist. Of course, I also think the article was referring to the safety of binging on candy on Halloween night, not every night afterward as well. But I better get back on the wagon soon, because my glucose test is early next week, and I would hate to find that my candy gluttony led to a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Ouch. But some candy is good for you. Reese Cups=protein. Swedish Fish= Omega 3's. Okay, tomorrow I will eat kale chips, but tonight I feast on Airheads and Sour Patch Kids!!!!

We had our second annual Dia De Los Meurtos Party this past Saturday. On Friday, we thought maybe ten people would show, but I think we ended up with over fifty! Sheesh. It was fun, although I struggled with what my costume would be. Let's face it, its tough to come up with a good costume when you're pregnant. They don't make maternity versions of all those sexy costumes out there. No skanky pregnant nurse costume for me. Shame. I was going to be a nun- nothing like a pregnant nun to shake up the Catholics at the party. But, I was swamped all day Saturday and didn't have time to make a nun's habit. Thankfully, the tiny Mexican grocery down the street from my house saved the day and I scored an awesome mask for only 10 bucks, thus producing The Ultimate Pregnant Mexican Warrior!! Amos dressed up as my manager, Hector the Horrible.



I am considering asking our midwife to wear the mask when she delivers Awesome. That way, when she sees my face, she will be so relieved to be held by someone so safe and nonthreatening, she'll never stray far and never leave my side. We also decided to dress up Rosco, so that he could greet all the trick-or-treaters in style. Doesn't he look adorable?!



If you can't humiliate your pets and children by dressing them up in silly costumes, what good are they?!

Juliette Binoche and I are still on bad terms.



Last night she had the AUDACITY to wake me up FOUR TIMES to go in and out! The last time she started to scratch on the sheet by my head, I grabbed my slipper and in an utter fit of rage slapped her with it. I then lay in bed, near tears, thinking, "Oh my God, I'm a terrible mother already." I just hit someone I love without even flinching. I might even go so far as to call it instinctual. In a state of sleep deprivation and rage, I lashed out and hit her. What will keep me from doing the same to poor little defenseless Awesome?! I'm going to have to get one of those Don't Shake The Baby bumper stickers and post it over her crib, just to protect her from my crazed fits of anger. I need an intervention now, before its too late and I am out of control. I went out today and bought a spray bottle, which in the past has worked to curb those middle of the night face-offs between Juliette and I. And I figure, even if it turns into a habit, spraying Awesome in the face with water in the middle of the night is not nearly as bad as slapping her across the room with my shoe.

Here is my week 26 picture. I think I look a little bigger, but its probably just candy bloat.



Dear Little Bear,

Papa and I voted today. I hope when you're old enough to vote you cherish how important and vital it is to be a part of the political process. Elections seem to get crazier and crazier every year, and I pray that by the time you are our age, sanity has been somewhat restored. Even with her flaws, America is such a wonderful country for so many reasons, and we enjoy so many wonderful freedoms that are a mere glimmer in other parts of the world. I hope that you are able to always have access to affordable health care, excellent education, safe streets, freedom to choose who you marry and freedom to make choices for your own body.

Papa and I will always love you, no matter who you are, who you choose to be, no matter what.

Love,

Mama