Whoa, That Was Close

Well, its been crazy week, to say the very, very least. The week started out gravy, with classes and finals winding down, a Christmas party on Dec. 11 with school friends, going shopping for a Christmas tree, and baking all day Sunday for a cookie exchange with the other GA's in my office.

Monday, Dec. 13th, I went into work/school and took my very much dreaded multivariate statistics exam. It was stressful and yucky, but after it was over I was comforted by the fact that I was officially finished with stats requirements for the rest of my academic career. After the exam, I drove to Angela's house for book club (this month's selection: Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn) and circus themed food (deep fried oreos!!!). When I first got to Angela's, I was still detoxing from the stress of the exam and lay on her living room floor, relaxing and letting the semester melt away. My friend Kim was there and gave me two very sweet, yet very tiny little baby hats she had knit for Awesome, and we laughed about how small they were (they barely covered my fist).

***Disclaimer- this gets messy*****
I got home around 10:30 or so and felt like Awesome was really pushing up against my ribs while I was sitting up, so I decided to stretch out on the couch to see if that gave her more room. Soon after lying down, my lower back and stomach started REALLY hurting, and I thought I may have eaten something circus-themed that didn't sit well with me. The thought that I might be having contractions briefly went through my mind, but the pain didn't come and go, it just stayed there, so I wasn't really 'contracting.' I decided I might feel better if I just went to bed. After laying down for a minute, I got back up because I needed to throw up, which only further confirmed my belief that I had a stomach bug or something. After that, I was able to fall asleep pretty quickly.

At 2:45 am, I woke up and thought that I was about to pee my pants. As soon as I stood up, I felt a gush and rushed to the bathroom, where I quickly discovered I was bleeding. I yelled for Amos and we were out the door, and ten terrifying minutes later, I was in the ER of Clark Memorial Hospital.

As soon as I got there, I was sent to Labor and Delivery, where they were quickly able to find Ms. Awesome's heartbeat and know that she was happy as a little clam and none the wiser to the chaos that was going on around her. I, however, was experiencing a placental abruption, where the placenta starts to pull away from the uterine lining and causes bleeding. The nurses and doctors were unable to tell how serious it was and there was a possibility that I was going to have to undergo an emergency c-section. The good news was Awesome was doing just fine, and my water hadn't broken. I was, however, having pretty regular contractions (1-2 minutes apart) and continued to bleed. An ultrasound was unable to determine the location or severity of the abruption, but again confirmed that Awesome was doing wonderfully, considering.

Although I was stable, by 11 am Tuesday, I was still bleeding a bit, so the doctor decided to have me transferred to Norton's Hospital in Louisville (Clark is just over the bridge in Indiana), so that, if I did end up having to deliver, I would be at a hospital that had a neonatal intensive care unit. At almost 33 weeks, were Awesome to be born, she would be fine, but small, and would probably need some help breathing and eating the first week or so. Maybe those hats that Kim knit would be coming in handy sooner than we thought!

By the time I got to Norton's, (Tuesday afternoon) my bleeding had tapered off, as had my contractions (which they think were just my body's reaction to trying to stop the bleeding). After a very uncomfortable day and night hooked up to an IV and several fetal monitors in Norton's Labor and Delivery ward, I was able to 'graduate' Wednesday, to the Antenatal unit for monitoring.They gave me a couple shots of steroids that would help mature her lungs, in case she did end up coming early, although it was looking less and less likely that she would be making an appearance. They continued to monitor both Awesome and I, and by Wednesday morning my bleeding and contractions had completely stopped. The doctors wanted to continue to observe me, in case anything changed, and luckily, nothing did. They talked about wanting to keep me for observation until I was 34 weeks (Dec 23rd), in case I needed to deliver there. At 34 weeks, I will be far enough along to deliver at Clark (which is my hospital and where my midwife is based out of). In the end, thankfully, they decided I could go home Friday morning, as long as I took it easy and came back if there were any changes. My mom drove down Thursday night and was able to help Amos and I through the weekend. And so, I've been home for a couple days now, and am feeling good, and Awesome is still kicking around, and hopefully, all is well.

Everything is still, somewhat up in the air, and there are a lot of unanswered questions, as to why this all happened. All of the risk factors (cocaine use, poor nutrition, alcohol and cigarette use, among them) were absent. I hadn't fallen or been in a car accident, which can sometime cause an abruption, so the best answer I have gotten from the docs is that sometimes, unexplainable shit just happens. I'd like to blame it on my stats exam, but the doctors said no. Amos thinks its because Awesome is such a feisty little kicker that she just kicked something loose. Again, the doctors said that was highly unlikely. So who knows?

So here is the great news: Awesome and I are doing fine. I'm home. She didn't have to be delivered. I'm not on a bunch of crazy drugs, and neither is Awesome. I have to take it easy but am not on bed rest.

Here is the news that's a bit more ambiguous: We don't know why it happened, and whether it will happen again. According to the doc, they can't put a number on the odds of it happening again, just that its more likely that it could happen again, than if it hadn't happened at all. If it does happen again, I will have to deliver her. And if I can hold out until the 23rd, I will most likely be able to have her at Clark, a hospital environment that I like much, much better than Norton's because she will be far enough along to do well there.

Docs were also unable to tell me whether or not I would be able to carry her to 40 weeks. One doctor said he thought it would be unlikely and that she would probably come around week 36 or 37. Another doc said it was quite possible I'd make it until 40 weeks. Since I would like her to stay in there as long as possible, so she has plenty of room to grow strong and more awesome, and I like the idea of her having a February birthday (far enough away from Christmas not to get shafted), I'm going to move forward with the belief that she is in it for the long haul.

Another bit of ambiguity is whether or not I will be able to come to Cincy again before she arrives. The doctors didn't want me driving up there for Christmas, so soon after being released from the hospital, so our immediate family is going to head this way for the holiday. We'll have to wait and see about travel after that, I guess.

More than anything, I am so lucky to be healthy and to have a healthy baby. Amos has been wonderful from the moment I woke him in a panic to get me to the hospital, to bringing me a poinsettia and Christmas movies to make my hospital room feel more Christmas-y, to loving me and treating me so wonderfully. It was also fantastic to have my mom here cooking, doing laundry and doing dishes, all while doing that Mom thing that she does so so well. The doctors, nurses and support staff at both Clark and Norton's were fantastic and I always felt like I was in capable hands. They all took the time to answer my questions the best they could. I really appreciate how well the two hospitals supported each other and did not seem to give me competing advice. Although we didn't tell many people (we wanted to wait until we knew what was happening), those friends and family who did know were awesome, calling and checking in, making sure to be available if we needed anything, filling my hospital room with beautiful flowers, and sending lots of thoughts and prayers our way. Thank you, everyone for making us all feel so, so loved. It made this whole scary experience a little less scary and overwhelming, knowing that I had the support of everyone.

This week has been crazy and overwhelming and I am glad to be home, safe and sound. This week it is my goal to take it easy and try an inject as much holiday spirit into the week, even though I won't be able to run around doing my last minute Christmas shopping marathon. All this rest and relaxation has meant that I have gotten to see about 10 movies, including White Christmas, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, Home Alone 2, Toy Story 3 and Pineapple Express (a perennial holiday favorite).

So, that's about all for now. I will see Beth, our midwife, tomorrow and hopefully, everything will continue to look promising. I will be sure to post updates as they come.


Dear Little Bear,

Mama had a scary week! I hope and pray that you had no idea what was going on and were just wondering why I have been lying around so much. While I would have been more than happy to meet you face to face this week, I am very glad you decided to hold out a little longer. One exciting part of the week was that Papa and I got to see you on the ultrasound (twice!) and you are still so so cute! And, apparently very hairy! The ultrasound tech cracked up at how much hair was waving around on you beautiful noggin and even took a picture of all your gorgeous luscious locks! Between Papa and I, its no surprise you have the mane you do! You also looked a little crowded in my tummy, which means you are getting bigger and bigger everyday! Your knees were tucked in and your hands were up by your mouth. I hope you are sucking your thumb and not biting your fingernails. Take it from me, that is a hard habit to break. I also saw why I have to pee every 30 minutes. Your little head loves to press press press right up against my bladder. You silly bear! I didn't know I could go to the bathroom so much, until you came around! The ultrasound tech also had me guess how much you weighed, and guess what?! I was EXACTLY right! You weigh 3 pounds 7 oz!

So, despite all the drama of the week, I hope you keep on staying your happy, healthy, Awesome self and that you continue to grow bigger and stronger everyday, inside my tummy, until it seems like a good time to come out and great the world. Keep those kicks coming, because they are wonderful reminders that you are doing great and that I don't need to worry about you.

I can't wait to hold you and am so glad that we made it through our first scary moment together, safe and sound.

Papa and I love you very very very very very very much.

Love,

Mama