When June Apple was born and it was just the two of us alone, in the middle of the night, in my hospital room, I looked over at her, sooo tiny in her hard plastic bassinet, and I just couldn't bear to have her sleep anywhere by cradled in my arms. When we got home, her nursing schedule was exhausting, feeding every hour, it was a matter of SURVIVAL for her to be right next to me. In the beginning she did sleep in a co-sleeper bassinet right next to our bed, but would also sleep in the crook of my arm, many nights. In her first year, she also slept in her crib many naps and nights. But then around 7 months, my work/school schedule ramped up. Several days during the week I would be gone for 10 hours or longer. Around this time, June Apple stopped sleeping through the night, waking up to nurse more and more. I took this as a sign of her need to be close to me, after spending so many hours away. So I started bringing her in to our bed and more.
And then I got pregnant, when she was about a year old, and the mixture of nausea and sciatic nerve pain made it excrusicating to bend over her crib night after night, rubbing her back and trying to sooth her back to sleep. So I just gave in and brought her into our bed, where she has remained ever since. She started sleeping through the night again, and when she does wake, she settles very quickly, and we ALL get better sleep, which is much, much appreciated. My views about where a baby/child sleeps is this: we decide what works best for all of us, in our family. It might not be what would work in another family, for the parents, or the children. But it is what has worked for us.
When Baby Bear comes along, I'm not sure what the sleeping arrangements will be. I don't intend to all of a sudden send June to her crib. My most immediate plan is to have Baby Bear in the co-sleeper and June between Amos and I. I am committed first and foremost to what is safe for Baby Bear, and while I have a very strong trust in my innate ability to be aware of him on our bed, I do not expect Ms. June to be similarly so. Safe co-sleeping suggests that older children should not share a bed with a baby, and for good reason. So for now, he will be in his bassinet, as June Apple was when she was born. In truth, our house is tiny and we don't have room for two cribs anyway. We are planning on moving in the next year or so, at which point, we will encourage June to move to a Big Girl bed, perhaps in her own room, and take it from there. But for now, we will all be together in our room, using the nursery for naps. And who knows what will be best for Baby Bear? Perhaps he will sleep better in the crib. Perhaps June will decide she needs her own space. But we will play it by year and continue to listen and respond to what is best for all of us.
And in other news, my week 31 picture:
Dear Baby Bear,
I promise to do my very best to listen to what is right for you and our family. I know others might do things differently, and their advice to us is well-intentioned and based on what worked best for them. But they are not us. So I will watch you, and listen to you, and change my mind if you need me to, and love and care for you the very best that I can.
Your Papa, big sister and I love you very much.
Love,
Mama
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